On second thought, scratch that last one�This just in:

But the point you conspiracy kooks should know is that Bin Laden is real. Mos Def recently sat up in front of perfectly rational white folk and proclaimed Osama �the boogie man.� When Jadakiss asked why George Bush knocked down the buildings in "Why," we all knew he was just reciting something his crazy uncle told him at the family barbecue. What we didn�t know was that the uncle was Mos Def. Even Uncle Ruckus, the self-hating white skin-worshiping character on The Boondocks would say that accusing Bush and company of concocting an Osama gives too much credit to this president.

On Reel Time with Bill Maher, alongside Dr. Cornell West, Mos showed off his comedic chops. Not only is Mos the best actor of the hip-hop generation, he�s funnier than a mug. But, really Mos, gotta tighten up your conspiracy game.

I know what you conspiracy types are saying: What proof do I have that Osama did indeed blow up TWC? How do we know that Dick Cheney and Karl Rove didn�t manufacture this character in order to make those bullshit orange alerts seem more credible? You think it's peculiar that you never see Dick Cheney in the same place as Osama. For all I know, you say, Dick Cheney takes off his fat suit and puts on a grizzly (or vitality black) beard and begins wagging his finger at the Amercan cameras in some hidden cave at his hunting grounds.

Well, here�s proof, silly kids. We�ve uncovered some outtakes of the recent Osama Bin Laden tapes. If this doesn�t hush all your Niglet rap paranoia with government goings on, nothing will.